Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

This film is pretty impossible to review. It was there, it passed, it was ok, we left. But here goes. First of all, it’s not _that_ terrible, indeed it is probably better than Jurassic World (okay, that’s a low bar). It’s way better than trainwrecks such as Independence Day 2, say. It’s just not very good. On the plus side:

  • Starts with a knowing shot of Bryce Dallas Howard’s high heels as a nod to the criticism in the previous film.
  • Contains a “nasty woman” joke
  • Has dinosaurs
  • Features a new favourite dinosaur in bonehead (Pachycephalosaurus)
  • Has a couple of nicely framed cinematic shots of dinosaurs shadowed, outlined, foregrounded effectively.

But the negatives outweigh these:

  • The two leads are too clean. They belong in a made for TV Christmas film where Howard returns to small town from the big city, falls in love with Pratt’s down to earth charm, learns some lessons and they save some puppies from an evil developer.
  • Some of the CGI is crap
  • The killing machine dinosaur that is set to revolutionise warfare seems easily outwitted and when it has a chance to kill our heroes, inexplicably decides to move very slowly.
  • The killing machine dinosaur is activated by pointing a laser at someone and then emitting a sound activation. It will then stop at nothing to get them. Or you could just, you know, shoot them?
  • Paucity of really cool deaths
  • Insufficient tension

They are maybe setting the franchise up for a Planet of the Dinosaurs type ending, which might be fun. But this one, see it, don’t see it, there’s no real difference.

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